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December 12, 2007

Uncle Tee (Peor) -

It's been 14 years since I've seen you last. I remember for the longest time, Nana and my mom not telling me where you were. When I found out, I was devastated. I had lost my best friend. It's hard for me to write this (amongst tears) because I have so many things I want to say, without knowing how to say them. I guess I can begin with updating you on me and the family...¶

I'm 21 now...finally legal (don't worry no alcohol)!! We moved from our little house in Burbank on Chandler to a house in Santa Clarita, CA, about 6 years ago. We lived there for 5 years, then my mom and Bill moved out to Parker, CO. I live with my dad now in Granada Hills, CA, work full time, and am going back to school next semester at Pierce Community College.

Nana lives with my mom in Colorado. She's having some difficulty breathing now again because of all the years of smoking and the thinner air. She's having a hard time. Josh is now 14. He'll be 15 in April. He plays football for his high school and is a starter. He also shares your love for skateboarding as well. He's really good at it you should see him. Grandpa Everett (Mindy's dad) passed away a year ago this October. He died an hour before my plane landed so that I could say good-bye. It was really hard on my mom and me because we learned of his diagnosis (liver cancer) 2 weeks before my mom was supposed to move. We were told he had 6 months from the time of diagnosis in September. He died in October.

I remember when we moved from Burbank to Santa Clarita. I went up into the attic to help pack some things, and noticed that the Frankenstein poster (among others) had never been taken down. It made me feel like you had never left...even though only for a second. I began to remember. I remembered being down in that garage with you, rapping into tools we had turned into microphones, and the space in front of the washer and dryer a stage. I remember you jumping in after your kitten when she fell into the pool. I remember you letting me drive your scooter and crashing into trashcans. My mom was so mad! And then I remember you moving out to Venice, where you lived with the guy with the VW van (Peter?) and you had a pitbull named Chaco. I have one now. Her name's Vayda. She looks like Chaco (brown and white). Then slowly but surely your visits became less and less frequent. The last time I remember seeing you was my 7th birthday. I still have the card signed "Uncle Tee" with a happy face. You bought me Homeward Bound (I think my mom still has it in a box somewhere).

And then the visits stopped. You stopped coming by. You stopped riding skateboards with me, and jumping over old nets in the front yard (still can't believe you did that). You stopped calling, and when I heard about you leaving, it was like you had died...a part of me had died. At every major event in my life from choir performances, to volleyball games, to my high school prom, you were the only one I ever truly wanted there. You were like a father to me when I was younger...teaching me how to ride my bike, tie my shoes, and winning me my first (and only) goldfish that I named Fred from my elementary school fair. I miss you more and more with each passing day. I'm not sure what's worse, thinking that you had passed away or knowing that you're alive, in the world somewhere, and not understanding how it's so easy for you to just let go of the people that love you the most in this world.

I know that life hasn't been easy...between the alcoholic parents, the constant moving, and the unstableness of the household...but you can't just run away and hide (just like when you hid all the beer cans from Christy's party in the dog house because you didn't want Nana to see them in the trash). You got caught and had to deal with it.

I want you to know that I don't hate you, I don't resent any of the choices that you made. I'm not mad or disappointed that you left. I want you to know that I love you, from the bottom of my heart, and that I miss you and think about you everyday. You were my uncle, my dad at times, and my best friend.

I can understand if you don't respond to this. I can understand that you've chosen the life that you have, and just hope that whatever it is that you're doing, wherever, that you're happy.

My home phone is: (818) 831-2349/cell: (661) 600-6808
My email is:

I love and miss you dearly.

XOXO (Nana and your trademark signature),


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