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Dear Patrick,

                     HI! How are you doing? It has been so long since
any of us has heard from you. We are always thinking about you and
wonder how things are going for you. I hope that you are doing well and
that you are a happy man. I know that I am the last to write you but I
find myself at a loss for words every time I try to write you. Alize is
so big and I thank God that she was given to me. I don't know what I
would do without her. I talk to her about you a lot, and she knows who
you are from the pictures, but she is confused at times when she sees me
cry when I talk about you or mention your name. I have some news to tell
you, Grandpa Milne passed on two days ago. I will see dad tomorrow; he
seems to be doing okay but has mentioned that the loss of two loved ones
is very difficult. He misses and loves you so much and talks often about
the days when you were a young boy. He is dealing with your absence the
only way he knows how, which worries me, but I know that God will take
care of everything. There have been some major changes in my life. I am
going to school and will be finishing my Paralegal degree soon. I was
approved for a home loan and will hopefully buy a house soon. My car was
stolen so I am getting a new one this week. So many good things have
been taking place in my life I am very excited. I must tell you this is
the closest I have been to God in my whole entire life. I know that I
made some major mistakes in my life and have hurt mom and dad many times
but I am so proud that I have come such a long way. There are still a
lot of things that I need to work on but know with the guidance of God,
and the will to change, everything will fall into place. I have learned
that all I can do is leave it in God's hands and ask everyday for the
strength and wisdom to stay strong. I miss you so much and often catch
myself daydreaming about the days at Tam-O-Shanter watching you play
ball. I remember always enjoying watching you play. I was always so
proud of you and never did mind being known as Pat's sister. I often
think about the last time I saw you when I dropped you off at the bus
station. I find myself getting angry, for if I would have known that it
was the last time I would see you, I would have held you in my arms so
tight and told you that I loved you and needed you in my life. I never
really told you how much I loved you and regret that. Now I make sure
that I tell my loved ones that I love them every chance I get. Mom is
doing okay but thinks about you often. There is never a conversation
that goes by where your name is not mentioned. I constantly worry about
her and am thankful that I have such a wonderful woman in my life and
hope I can be just as beautiful inside and out as she is. She is
nurturing many wounded hearts and sees a lot of women who need a lot of
guidance. I personally feel that God chose our mother to guide these
woman because she is a blessing and feels that she is the right one for
the job. I must end this letter by telling you that grandpa Milne's
death made me stop and thank. If I were to die before I saw or heard
from you, I want you to know that you broke my heart when you left and
that know one can replace a brothers love. Not a child, husband or
friend. My heart is broken and I long for the day that you will call me
and say, " what's up Jo". I did not get the chance to tell you myself,
so I will tell you in this letter. I love you. Please call soon, if not
to ease my heart but to ease our mother's heart, for when she is in
pain, I am in pain.



                                                I love you,


Joanna

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